i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
