I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
