I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
