So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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