one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
