I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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