Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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