So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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