I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
