CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
