Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
