It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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