nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
