Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
