Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
