Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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