there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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