I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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