i don't like sucking hair
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Randomize
