I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
