I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
