So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
