Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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