He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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