eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
