it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You're like the curious george of whores
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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