This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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