So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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