She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
