no, he came in my armpit
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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