I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
