all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
