Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
