We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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