You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
