return my video game
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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