hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
