I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
