"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
