Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
