just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We're too hungover to prance.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
