so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Shame - the story of my life.
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