Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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