Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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