just come out here and I will go home with you...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
