A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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