In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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