there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
