The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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