so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
